My favorite thing about the Easter story\u2014aside from the resurrection itself\u2014is reading the stories about Jesus\u2019 post-resurrection appearances and how each one was different, uniquely suited to the person(s) he was encountering. In John 20 and 21* we witness story after story in which Jesus systematically sought out his loved ones to announce the good news, to have healing conversations, to provide comfort and assurance, to bring peace, perspective, forgiveness\u2014and even to make breakfast!<\/p>\n
I never tire of imagining myself in these stories, wondering what it would have been like to be so sad and disillusioned, to need something so desperately, to not even know\u00a0what\u00a0I needed\u2026but to have Jesus seek me out with exactly what I needed. And then to recognize, in his\u00a0perfect knowing\u00a0of what the moment called for, that it is the Lord\u2014the very one I had seen crucified!<\/p>\n
After all Jesus had endured to accomplish victory over death, there were so many things he could have chosen to do in the time between his resurrection and his ascension. He could have hosted a joyous celebration, showed himself (and maybe even gloated a little) to the ones who had humiliated and killed him, or staged a strategic gathering with influencers focused on how he was going to bring in his kingdom. But instead, he initiated a series of private and very personal interactions with his close ones, gently creating space for what they most needed. His\u00a0people\u00a0were more important to him than partying, politicking, or planning.<\/p>\n
Mary got an intimate one-on-one encounter in the garden, where she was eventually entrusted with the immense privilege of being the first evangelist. The disciples who were huddled together in fear received the Holy Spirit. Thomas received physical proof that Jesus, the crucified one, was now his resurrected Lord. The seven disciples who fished for a living got the biggest catch of their lives, plus breakfast on the beach. Peter got an awkward but very healing conversation that redeemed his betrayal into a new calling.<\/p>\n
One of the most striking elements of John\u2019s account of these post-resurrection appearances is how Jesus appeared to the disciples even when they were trying so hard not to be found. He knew their favorite hiding places and searched them out. In John 20:19 we are told that even though the doors of the house where the disciples had gathered were locked for fear of whatever might happen next, Jesus came and stood among them, saying, “Peace be with you.\u201d<\/p>\n
In verse 26, Jesus appears again \u201ceven though the doors were shut,\u201d and this time it was specifically to seek out Thomas who had missed Jesus’ previous appearance and wasn\u2019t willing to take anyone else\u2019s word for the fact that a resurrection had happened! In this encounter, Jesus respects Thomas\u2019 doubt by giving him the proof he needed\u00a0and\u00a0Thomas learned a very valuable lesson: he learned to doubt his doubts. He discovered that even though his doubts and disillusionment felt very real to him, they were also not an accurate representation of reality. Thank God for Thomas whose interaction with Jesus challenges us all to be honest about our doubts and disillusionments and in that way invite Jesus in, while at the same time allowing Jesus to prove those doubts wrong!<\/p>\n
I have always taught that Jesus is polite and does not push in where he is not invited and I still believe this. But these verses refer to a more nuanced situation\u2014one in which the door is shut or locked but the deeper truth is that we actually\u00a0want\u00a0Jesus to come in. While it may appear that we have shut the door, walling off some part of our hearts or ourselves, deep inside we want to open it and Jesus knows it. It\u2019s like when a child (or even an adult!) stomps away in the middle of a fight, goes to their room and slams the door; while their outward action makes it look like they want to be left alone, their deepest hope is that someone<\/em> will care enough to pursue them and draw them out of their miserable isolation. While we might have shut down a part of our hearts or stomped away in disillusionment, on a much deeper level we want Jesus to come in and be with us in our misery. Jesus knows this, so he finds a way to come in.<\/p>\n The phrase, \u201cAlthough the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them\u2026\u201d is so very hopeful because it means that even when some door of my life is locked because I am afraid to open it or don\u2019t know how, Jesus is not limited by that. He knows my deepest desire, even when I am so disillusioned I don\u2019t know what to do with myself. Even when I don\u2019t know how to open or have been closed for so long that “keeping the door shut\u201d has become a pattern, he will find a way to come with healing or peace, perspectives or proof\u2014whatever we most need. \u00a0And he will somehow do it without violating the free will he has given us.<\/p>\n These stories always make me want to ask, \u201cWhat doors in my life are locked right now? What parts of myself have I walled off out of fear and disillusionment, convinced that no one can make a difference there? Can I perceive Jesus’ presence and experience his peace in that place?\u201d\u00a0As we emerge from Holy Week and enter into Eastertide, may we find ourselves in the tender post-resurrection stories of Jesus\u2019 first followers and watch for how Jesus might be coming to us through our own closed doors and our own locked rooms. May we, too, cry out with recognition, \u201cIt is the Lord!\u201d<\/p>\n It is the Lord, in the dawning,<\/em><\/p>\n in the renewal,<\/em> It is the Lord, in the crowd,<\/em><\/p>\n in the church,<\/em> It is the Lord, in our joys,<\/em><\/p>\n in our sorrows,<\/em> It is the Lord, in the stable,<\/em><\/p>\n in the humble,<\/em> It is the Lord, risen and returned,<\/em><\/p>\n alive forevermore,<\/em> David Adam,\u00a0Tides and Seasons<\/em>Finding Ourselves in the Stories<\/h2>\n
\nin the arrival,<\/em>
\nin the new day.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nin the conversation,<\/em>
\nin the crisis.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nin our sickness,<\/em>
\nin our health.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nin the stranger,<\/em>
\nin the poor.<\/em><\/p>\n
\ngiving me new life,<\/em>
\nsaving me in strife,<\/em>
\nIt is the Lord.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nJohn 20:1-8<\/p>\n
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